The Power of Reminiscing
by Lightness-and-Darkness
Summary: Jibbs. What would Jenny do if she could go back and change everything? Well at least she can decide what she would do. As always please, please review.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This kind of started with the idea of looking back at your life which was a part of a book I am trying to write, but I didn't use it in the story and instead evolved it into a Jibbs one shot. So as always enjoy and please review.

**Disclaimer: **I, unfortunately, own nothing

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><p><span>The Power of Reminiscing<span>

"Do you want to know something sad?" Jennifer asked, taking a sip of her red wine.

"Go for it," Gibbs shrugged. They were seated outside, in the surprisingly warm starless night. Neither one of them was quiet sure who had decided they were going out to dinner, they were just both hungry and didn't want to be alone.

Jenny wasn't dressed up, she always relished the opportunity to get out of her fancy work clothes and just go out in jeans and a T-Shirt and Gibbs, well he had one look and he stuck with it.

Where they were dining wasn't that fancy either, it still had class but it had a more wholesome and earthy feel which was comforting after their, as always, hectic week.

"If I had the chance I wouldn't do anything differently," Jenny chuckled, reminiscing slightly as she spoke.

"How's that sad?" Gibbs questioned a tad envious of her life without regrets.

"Because, I have made so many mistakes," Jenny began casually, "and I can't bring myself to regret even one of them."

"That's good Jen," Gibbs grumbled, "not sad." A tad angry that she didn't even regret leaving him, or the pain it had caused him.

"No it's sad," Jenny said nodding, the politician side of her eager to prove her point. "It's sad because if I somehow went back six years ago to where I was running from you. I wouldn't tell myself to do anything different."

"I think that's sad for me, not you Jen," Gibbs smirked, taking a gulp of his Bourbon in anticipation of where this conversation was going.

"How come?" Jenny questioned, slightly confused.

"Because, I wasn't and still aren't worth coming back for," Gibbs said opening up his menu and scanning his eyes through each page in an attempt to change the topic.

"It's not that you weren't worth coming back for," Jenny said, trying to coax his eyes back to hers, "it's just that I wasn't, and aren't, right for you." Jenny said, not sadly just like she was stating a well known fact.

"Y..." Gibbs started but Jenny quickly reached over and covered his mouth with her hand.

"My self-esteem doesn't really need a boost right now Jethro," Jenny whispered battering her eyelashes. Gibbs looked up at her almost helplessly. She couldn't help but laugh as she took her hand away from his mouth.

"Look at me I'm the first female Director of a Federal Agency. That's something to be proud of," Jenny said beaming satisfaction, "plus I'm happy. I love work, which is good because there's a lot of it. Plus I'm just not the relationship type," Jenny shrugged, "let alone the girlfriend type." She leant back in her chair. They were seated in a garden away from the hustle and bustle of the inside. They were only lit by the orange light that seeped through the just cracked open window and the full moon. They were completely alone.

"So, what type are you," Gibbs asked, curious.

"I think I'm a bit of the user type to be honest," Jenny laughed.

"I'd believe that," Gibbs said. Jenny laughed, they had both had way too much to drink, and it was starting to show.

"You don't mind being used do you?" Jenny whispered becoming serious.

"Not when you are the user," Gibbs stated meeting her hushed tone.

"Why is it that I always feel so bad about using you," Jenny sighed leaning forward and cupping her face in her hands.

"Because you can't go back after you've had the best," he smirked, making Jenny burst into laughter.

She wiped a joyful tear away from her eye, "I think you might be on to something," she whispered, "Y..." Jenny started but Gibbs quickly lent over and covered her mouth with his hands.

"I don't really need the self-esteem boost either," he chuckled. They sat in silence letting the air become slightly cooler.

"What happens now?" Jenny asked shivering. Gibbs stood up walking over to where she was sitting, taking off his coat and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"You ask me back to your house, I leave some money on the table and we leave," Gibbs said, still standing behind her with her hands around his shoulders.

"I think we've already done that," Jenny snickered.

"If you don't have any regrets, then what's the harm in doing it again," he said leaning over to whisper into her ear.

Nothing was said, she just nodded and Gibbs took whatever cash was in his pocket and placed it on the table. He wrapped his hands and they left for her home.

It wasn't the end, and they were both too old to call it the begging. It was somewhere in the middle were they always seemed to meet.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Remember when I said this was a one-shot, yeah I lied. It's not really a second chapter but more of a next day add on. So as always enjoy and please review :).

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><p>Jenny didn't know if she was a strong person, the whole matter seemed to be just a giant pile of contradiction. On the one hand of course she was strong. You didn't get to be where she was without being strong let alone gain Gibbs's respect. But, on the other hand she was so unsure of where she was, it almost (but not quite) made her weak. Yes, so far she had managed to live a life clear of regrets but maybe that was because she wasn't strong enough to look back on her life and meddle. She was strong enough to realise that she couldn't change the past and to just accept it, at least.<p>

Of course she was strong, she thought, but their was more then one side to strength; courage. Jenny knew she was definitely courageous. The things she had done with her life, stupid or not, took courage. Jenny couldn't have survived Paris, or a typical office day, without the courage to be brave and think on her feet; and she couldn't have survived her life if she didn't have the courage to run away.

And there was the contradiction: The courage to run away. Had what she had done taken courage or insured her eternal weakness. She had to be independent and she had to be strong but did what she did really take courage? In the eyes of hindsight the courageous thing would have been to talk things through, to sort something out; but was that really what she wanted?

The whole subject seemed to give her a headache, everything she wanted seemed to contradict itself. She wanted to be strong, to be a role model of sorts but she wanted to be with Gibbs. But did that even contradict itself? Was falling into a man's arms really a sign of weakness?

Nothing seemed to make sense, and no matter how many times she tried to make it make sense it just scrambled into a mess of confusion.

"Are you okay?" Gibbs asked. How he had made it into her office without her knowing was yet another mystery; but Jenny just sighed and shook her head, her day dreams must have made her unaware to his entrance.

"Never better," Jenny said brightly, smiling falsely. "Can I ask you a question though?" Jenny murmured.

"Since when do you go to me for advice," Gibbs chuckled, pulling out a chair and taking her seat.

Jenny took a moment to think of a witty reply, "I think you're pretty good at giving advice, except with the exception of marriage," she chuckled, still tangled in her thoughts.

Gibbs tried to stare her down, but failed when her sore her bright and innocent smile. "Go," he sighed, defeated.

"Am I a strong person?" She asked meeting his eyes.

"Of course you are Jen," he smirked, "you shouldn't need me to tell you that."

"I guess I shouldn't" she said smiling more sincerely now. "You know the strongest animals are those that can adapt?" she sighed calmly as if she was just repeating a random fact.

"You think you're weak because you haven't adapted?" Gibbs asked confused, questioning Jenny's sanity just slightly.

"No," Jenny said sternly, giving him one her famous stairs, "I am just considering adaptation."

"You've lost me?" Gibbs said, raising his hands in defeat.

"If you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you always got," Jenny shrugged, trying to explain.

"What do you want to change?" Gibbs asked, confusion replaced by curiosity.

"I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life being the woman that just used you," Jenny sighed sadly.

"You didn't use me," Gibbs chuckled in disbelief, "you never did."

"Well maybe I want something different then," Jenny sighed, her tongue was tied as she tried to think of the right words to say.

"Like what," Gibbs said. "Or who?" he quickly added.

"No not like that," Jenny said clearly. "I just want to be yours, I think," she whispered staring at him, and hoping that he understood what she was trying to say. It was Gibbs, so of course he did.

"Isn't that weak?" Gibbs asked, slapping himself mentally for asking that question.

"I honestly don't care if it is, or isn't," Jenny sighed, "I just know it's what I want, and that I don't want to be without you."

Gibbs leaned over and kissed her; it was one of those moments when they were in complete understanding. They both knew that they needed each other and now Jenny had admitted it. It did not make her weak because she simply adapted. She didn't lose her independence nor her fiery red-headnesst. It just made her his, forever.

Fin, (really, this time its over :P)


End file.
